Hoedown

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Hoedown enjoying his free time.
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Hoedown enjoying his free time.

Aaron Lawhon, a.k.a. Hoedown, was born a very small truck driver in 1932.

Contents

Trucking

Finding himself newly alive in the midst of that great economic downturn which would later come to be known as the Great Leap Forward, he had very little, as a truck driver, to haul. He nonetheless managed to carve out a meager living in the dust and dry air delivery business. This continued until he blew out a rig losing a highly symbolic hauling contest against Babe, Paul Bunyan's mythical blue ox. All Aaron Lawhon had known was hauling, and being out of the business brought about an existential crisis of no small magnitude. He would find himself not alone in this respect.

The Civil War

The year was 1863, and the nation was itself embroiled in that great existential crisis which would later come to be known as the Civil War. Aaron Lawhon felt compelled to take up arms and played no small role in assuring victory for the West.

Post War Era

After the war, Aaron Lawhon underwent a surgical procedure and became Korean. He then went into the business of smashing racial stereotypes as the first Korean manufacturer of doorbells and doorbell related products. He thus lived happily into old age.

Everlasting Life

Several years ago, lost and senile, Aaron Lawhon found himself in the midst of that great mythical Floridian spring which would later come to be known as the Fountain of Youth. This discovery was of no small importance to a man of such advanced age, and he imbibed liberally. He was immediately restored to the prime of youth, with the unfortunate consequence of being turned back into a white guy. Despite this drawback, he lives happily within the deepest, darkest recesses of the dense forests of central Arizona.