Crixpy

From EspionageWiki

Crixpy taking a new self portrait to print out and staple to her victims.

Crixpy does not divulge information.

1 Birth
2 Early Years
3 Hoodooo
4 Musical Murdering Career
5 Crixpy In Modern Times
6 External links

Birth

Crixpy was born in a barn on December 25th. She was promptly greeted by 3 not so wise men who gave her the gifts of beef jerky, goat’s milk, and the essence of dung.

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Early Years

She learned the arts of warfare by Buddhist ninjas who unlike their monk counterparts believe that to kill is to live. She quickly became the head of the Order of the Crimson Fist. Her first issued creed was to murder anyone who was dumb enough to think that the essence of dung was good baby gift. Her logic was that babies already smelled that way 83% the time. She soon left the order when there was no one left to kill in the third world countries where they operated. Not long after she found her one and only true love: hoodoo.

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Hoodooo

She moved to Haiti because she saw on the 700 Club show that it belonged to the devil.

Mmmm she thought this sounds like my kind of place. In a failed attempt to evoke the voodoo god Loas, she injured her summoning arm and had to be placed in a Haitian hospital. After her 3 years in the ICU she vowed never to step foot on Haitian soil again. She continued to live there for 4 years walking on the backs of her follows to ensure that she would not step on Haitian soil. But within time it was just like the Order of the Crimson Fist, there was no one left to walk on because they were all dead. She told Lord Zmolik that her only mistake was walking on them in spiked shoes forged out of steel, the fact that she would never let them eat or breed with one another, and that she always killed the every 3rd person she stepped on.

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Musical Murdering Career

Other than that she said he plan was foolproof. Once back in the USA she fronted the popular singing group Crixpy and the Murdering Cowboys. She would sing while "the band" would kill the audience. They managed 3 gold records and sold out shows in most of California, which just goes to show you that everyone who lives in California believes they should die.

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Crixpy In Modern Times

Crixpy now lives in the Dallas swamplands. She runs a nice bed and breakfast called Sleeps with the Fishes - for people who don't think it is immoral to sleep with fish. It got 4 out of 5 stars in the Dallas Morning News.

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