Tophat Man
From EspionageWiki
Tophat Man is a piece of shit and no one should associate with him in any way, unless you're intentions are to kick his teeth in. If you see this man, do not approach him or let him read BULLSHIT poetry to you, especially if you're a female under the age of 15. This man USED to read fucked up poetry at the local poetry night. It was all bullshit. It was all pathetic. Quite frankly, The Captain hopes Tophat Man dies a horrible death. If his gentelmanhood is challenged in any way he will quite likely threaten your life verbally. If this does happen call the police. It should be everyone's purpose in life to make this man utterly hate himself. This child molesting bastard is at the very top of my personal shitlist.
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Known Incidents
- On one occasion a young female approached the counter at Insomnia and asked them to turn on the cigarette machine, which was normally disabled to prevent underage cigarette purchases. They asked her for her age. When she replied indicating that she was fourteen they told her they would not allow her to purchase them. Until she announced her age Tophat Man was not paying attention, but when he heard her age his ears perked up and he craned his neck to get a better look at her.
- A young woman named Cassandra worked at Insomnia and was growing quite frustrated with Tophat Man's frequent, perverted, pseudo-intellectual poetry readings decided to read a poem of her own. The poem was highly derogatory towards Tophat Man. He became very irate and the next day threated to kill her. Cassandra almost lost her job for the insulting poem.
