Espionage Enterprises

Famous Bingham Quotes

Matt Says

"did you know that 72% of men think about tacos at least once a week"?

WTF Variety Show - or - Are You Ready to Hate Kevin?

It's So Cold in the D

Bishop Enjoys His Irish Heritage

Time Warner Cable

I swear to fucking christ.

I've had a problem with my internet connection since october or november of 2008. Anytime that i'm downloading a bunch of shit, and maxing out the connection, it drops.

I do IT, I swear I'm not a fucktard. This has happened at both apartments, with different modems, AND different routers.

I get up the frustration to complain every month or two, and it goes like this. [Actual chat session from tonight]

Robert DSouza> Mathew, I understand that you are having Intermittent connectivity issue. Am I correct?

Matt> Correct Tied directly to usage. Internet connection will not drop if connection is not heavily used

Robert DSouza> Do you have a router hooked up between your computer and the modem?

Matt> Yes

Robert DSouza> When did this problem begin? Has it ever worked? If so, what changed?

Matt> This problem began around october or nov of 2008. No changes.

Robert DSouza> How many computers do you have in your Network?

Matt> 6

Robert DSouza> Are all the computers in your Network Wired OR Wireless?

Matt> Mixed

Robert DSouza> Are all the computers in your Network experiencing same issue or is it the only one?

Matt> All

Robert DSouza> Have you received the Router from RR / TWC (OR) separately purchased it?

Matt> Seperately

Robert DSouza> Thank you.

Matt> Have tried two other routers, same problem

Robert DSouza> Kindly check physical connections between Cable Modem, Router and Computer.

Robert DSouza> Please check if they are securely connected to each other.

Matt> Check

Matt> When problem happens, I will check Cable Modem, online light will be off.

Robert DSouza> Do you have any security software installed on your computer?

Matt> NO

Robert DSouza> Okay.

Robert DSouza> How many computers are wirelessly connected?

Matt> 2, and iphone

Robert DSouza> You will need to reset the network.

Robert DSouza> Steps to reset the Network:

1. Power down the cable modem, any and all network equipment (router) and the computer. 2. Wait for 45 seconds before powering on the cable modem . Wait for the front lights on the modem to stabilize. 3. Once the front lights on the modem have stabilized, power up any network equipment (router) and then the computer.

Robert DSouza> If the issue still persists, you need to bypass the router and need to connect directly via modem.

Robert DSouza> If the above steps do not resolve the issue you will need to get back to us with the Ticket Number : RQST00065032084.

Matt> This has happened with belkin, linksys, and linksys with DD-wrt, and with 2 cable modems.

Robert DSouza> We will glad to assist you further.

Robert DSouza> I understand that.

Robert DSouza> However to isolate the issue you need to perform the above provided steps.

Seriously, can we come up with some kind of signal, so that I don't have to hear the "turn it off - turn it back on" suggestion. I know this works for 99% of the fucktards and little old ladies you have to deal with, but jesus fucking christ if i didn't just spend 40 minutes for you to tell me that.

Right now I'm supposed to be doing that shit.

I've been down this road, and I love the next step. Either they'll tell me "a switch in your area is being repaired" or "we can't see any problems".

And the whole "check if your cables are securely connected"...motherfucker, would i be chatting with you if my computer was unplugged, you asshat

I feel like shitting my pants.

Ron and Marty

I got my wishy washy machine here....yeah!

I can't even start with this one......

End of the world, # 3,125,904

Please go here. www.survive2012.com

And I quote, "There is zero scientific evidence that anything will happen, but there are numerous things that could easily threaten the human species in the year 2012, such as a geomagnetic reversal, asteroid strike or supernova. Or soemthing more intimate, like a flu pandemic, or a nuclear war."

Here are just a few of the things he suspects could happen. Extremely retarded ones in bold.

Human

* Flu Pandemic
* Nuclear War / WW3 / Biological War
* Large Hadron Collider
* Nanotechnology
* Religious Apocalypse
* Nuclear Accident
* Rise of the Machines
* Genetic Modification
* Time Travel Error

This is just a small portion of my online book, Survive 2012 - a look into possible ways our world might end, and how to survive. Available in bookstores sometime before 2012, fingers-crossed... From Space

* Nearby Supernova
* Explosion from the black hole at the center of our galaxy - read about how something similar could have caused the recent tsunami
* Gamma Ray Burst (GRB)
* Asteroid/Meteor/Comet
* Coronal Mass Ejection (CRE) from our Sun
* Cosmic Rays
* Solar System Falls Apart!!!!!
* Alien Invasion

From Earth

* Magnetic Pole Shift
* Crustal Pole Shift
* Supervolcano - ie Yellowstone
* Ice Age
* Global Warming

Mummy Art

Wrong

If only I would have had a jesus-boner light switch when I was growing up....maybe I wouldn't be this way.

I can say that i'm glad I didn't have to perform oral on wolverine though

I cant seem to urinate nearly enough

I need to urinate at LEAST 10 times a day.